4.10.16 From where I stand…

From where I stand…

It was a wonderful Sunday morning with friends at UUCE annual brunch service.

It’s such a warm and welcoming place for us. And I know my kids are safe, respected and even loved by many there.

I hope whatever you do on Sunday’s (or your day off, whenever that is) that you are able to build community with reverence, joy and equity for yourselves and your family. Also important, have some fun while doing it.

Happy Sunday to you all!

3.28.16 From where I stand…

From where I stand…

3 years of no sleeping really gets to you. 7-ish years of “sleeping” next to someone who snores is hard but not as complicated as a toddler who cannot tell us what’s wrong, he might not even understand it himself?

Last night was not uncommon for Indigo and we know some of you experience these nights too. It’s too much sometimes but I work on digging deep for that extra ounce of compassion and try to refill my cup when I’m given the opportunity.

Last night: Indigo’s down by 8pm (wow!) but he fell asleep in the living room. We move him to his bed and he wakes up. Hubby tries for nearly three hours to get Indigo to sleep with periodic nursing with mama and water breaks. At almost 11pm papa/hubby needs sleep so he can go to work so mama takes over the nightly kidcare. Nursing and putting babe in the carrier and walking and nursing and walking and nursing, three more hours goes by. Mama can’t walk and nurse anymore. Papa takes over another three hours then has to get ready for work. It’s 4am and Mama goes back out to the living room where it all started but babe is still crying until he passes out then wakes up to cry some more (my poor baby!).

Bach’s Rescue Remedy, Milky Oat Tops, lots of nursing milkies, walking, TV, music, singing, reading, lots of trying to read, some more TV…the whole time babe is signing “all done” and “hurt” and can’t tells us what or where. Finally, Ibuprofen is given and its 7am and he’s now passed out on mama for who knows how long?

I’m not sure about putting things like this out there but maybe it will help someone? At least, you’re not alone in the struggle.

So, life in the SwansNest is often sleepless and some nights are easier than this. Thank you for accepting our struggle and appreciating that our world and work is surrounded around the kids. It’s a small thing and helps us greatly.

Keep taking care of each other! We’re all we got <3

3.10.16 From where I stand…

From where I stand…

Depleted from nursing a toddler for 5 days straight I still count my blessings.

The neighbors don’t complain about how much Indigo cries. The plum tree is blooming and I get to see her outside the bedroom window every time we are in there. Fresh eggs from the chickens. Community that doesn’t quit. Strong, fierce, wise women I’m akin to, bonded. A partner who tries. Quality gelatin for when the yogurt fails, AGAIN! Ability to express myself and my responsibilities to this place of expression. My responsibilities to all of this is a blessing.

Recognizing that it will not always be this way is so good and so is venting…

Keep taking care of each other!

2.20-21.16 From where I stand…

From where I stand…

The past weekend was really busy with a lot of celebrating.




The Eugene Asian Celebration, being with family and friends, tea with amazing people…life is incredible!

Keep taking care of each other, community!

2.17.16 From where I stand…

From where I stand….

“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”

I haven’t embroidered anything ┬áin years. It’s been even longer since I did cross stitch. I’m excited to get this one going. I haven’t decided which skill to use.

I’ve been drawn to this proverb for many years now. I feel it represents many different a phases of my life and it reminds me that new things are coming and that whatever happens I am strong.

Grow, be brave, you are strong!